Dating: 14 Things To Know Before You Start Dating Him Or Her

dating

Going out with your crush

Dating is simply a phase of romantic relationships in humans whereby two individuals meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a future partner in an intimate relationship. It can also be the process individuals go through when they want to meet and/or get involved with potential romantic and/or sexual partners.

dating

Types of dating

Most people don’t actually know the type of dating they’re into with their partners. Are you just seeing each other? Just hooking up? Casual dating? Serious dating? Is the relationship heading to marriage? Dating entails so many different things. Here are the major types of dating in this modern era:

Dating for fun

This is one of the types of dating that is mostly practiced by young men/women in their early twenties as they are not ready to tie the knot soon. The main goal of this particular dating is just for enjoyment. You enjoy your partner’s company and they do so in return.

There are no serious expectations to meet. You never get upset when your significant other doesn’t reply to your text or return your calls. You guys just see yourselves as mere friends and no-strings-attached.

Dating to see

In this type of dating, the other partner intentional wants to see how the relationship is going whether you both are willing to move into a more serious relationship. You people might discuss several topics like life goals, ideas of marriage, how many kids would be preferable, your family background, your career plans, and your religious beliefs.

This particular dating may entail blind dates, speed dating, and online dating. This relationship may or may not be exclusive, and you may choose whether to introduce the person to your family or not.

Dating to decide

This type of dating is also known as courtship. Here couples get to know each other for the purpose of deciding whether to settle down or not. It might be private and informal, or it might be a public affair involving community approval or loved ones. In most cases, it entails a commitment to an exclusive relationship with the other person to make this decision.

Furthermore, some partners may introduce each other to important personalities in their life: mentors, friends, family, parents, or spiritual community. Some couples may try living together (have in mind that this have both good and bad side) while others may embark on summer vacations together.

Here, couples tend to be curious about each other like will she makes a good housewife ? What do I need to know about him and what does he need to know about me to be able to make this decision about settling down?

Read Also: 20 Signs A Man Is Ready For Marriage And 13 Signs He’s Not

Dating after getting marriage

You might be thinking “how is this possible”? It is possible as this type of dating differs from others. Now that you have committed yourself to someone else, you may want to diligently nurture and grow that relationship (a fulfilled marriage, unfortunately, doesn’t just surface naturally, which is one of the biggest misconceptions about marriage by many today).

Dating after marriage is very vital as it gives couples exclusive time with each other. While dating, you guys have enough time to catch each other up on what has happened in the week, observe how your significant other may have changed recently, have important discussions, and make decisions. You can also spice the relationship by having fun together.

Having defined the type of dating you are with your partner is very helpful to you and your partner. This is why you see many relationships crash today because partners fail to define the type of dating they’re doing.

What are the things you need to know before you start going out with your crush?

The first time I met my girlfriend; we were just talking and staring at each other. I offered to get her some chilled drink and she accepted. She was telling me that all guys are the same and that she knows what I wanted. I was speechless and needed a reverend father to confirm myself as a saint in front of her.

I was convinced that there was no chemistry between us and she finally decided to give me her phone number. As I whispered to her that am going home, she pulled me back and gave me a cool kiss which I hardly move. I was left amazed and that was how I enjoyed my first date.

Furthermore, we graduated from friends to lovers in no time. Have in mind that transitions from friends to lovers could be simple and at the same time confusing/stressful. Luckily you can still find ways to ease the whole process quicker than making it appear stressful to you. The author of Breakthrough for a Broken Heart Paul Davis says that it only takes an average of six to eight dates for couples to become “exclusive,” you might want to conceal all your bases pretty early on, too.  

Are you two thinking of dating each other or you’re gearing up for your first date with someone? Here are some proven things to know before dating your friend:

Mutual feelings towards each other

It is always not easy to find out if you have mutual feelings when you are already happy and nice to each other. You might want to flirt with your friend to see if he or she flirts in return.

Here is an illustration:

I and my girl today started by calling each other to give each other compliments whenever we step out together. Like you look sweet in your dress and this particular hairstyle fits you. Eventually, she graduated into being curious about how I look in my shorts and that she loves how I shaved my beards.

You discover here that she flirts in return and not just me doing the flirting alone. She also sees that I flirt with just her only and no one else. After seeing all the compliments she gives to me, I was able to summon the courage to ask her out officially to be my jewel and luckily I received a positive answer. All these are things to look out for before dating your friend you cherished.

dating

What is their current relationship with their exes?

This is one of the major things to look out for before jumping into dating your friend. The candid reason for this is that you don’t want to be into a relationship with someone who hasn’t let go of his or her ex completely. Sometimes you might want to know what and how the person describes his or her exes as this speaks a lot about them.

If they’re always pointing to their exes as the bad eggs here, you have to be careful because their exes might not actually be what they said. However, if the person you’re crushing on says something like “They are a really nice person, just not for me,” or, “This my particular ex cheated on me, but I’m still cool with that one,” then it’s a clear sign that they’re mature and are emotionally ready to begin dating again. You are advised never to bring this up on your first date.

Know the quality of your friendship before establishing a relationship

Have in mind that there is a big difference between someone who is just really fun to be with and your die lover. Why not take into consideration the quality of your friendship before deciding to establish a relationship? Take some time to think if you feel safe and secure in that friendship? Is the friendship exciting, emotional ride? You may admire your friend’s social life but after being in a relationship with him or her, you may find them detesting to you. So be careful and never take this particular tip for granted.

Do they have short term plans for the future?

Try as much as possible to know if the person you’re crushing on won’t be relocating soon to a new city before you get emotionally attached. It’s really nice for you guys to work together to accommodate your lifestyles to fit your relationship once you have been together for some time. But when you first start seeing someone, you need to make sure that your future and theirs are going to be aligned long enough to actually be able to get your desired goal.

I would prefer you to ask the person you’re interested in jokingly if he or she will be residing in that vicinity for long before falling deeply for the person.

Be candid about why you want to date him or her

It is advisable for you to be realistic with yourself on why you want to date that person. You may prefer dating a trusted and reliable friend but there’s so much to a healthy romantic relationship than just feeling secure. The person you’re interested in maybe cute, nice to you, and you can count on them to be an ideal date for you.

You have to also look out for some trait of sexual attraction or romantic desire in your crush and even with this, there may not be sufficient for a stable, healthy, and romantic partnership. Have in mind that dating someone you feel secure with can backfire one day especially when you realize he or she isn’t motivated or socially active as you.

Their schedule is compatible with yours

Make sure you know what you want if that person’s schedule is compatible with yours, so you don’t end up flogging a dead horse? Some relationships can still work well even if both partners are working in different shifts. If you know you would love to see your significant other often like daily or weekly then date someone whose day-to-day schedule is compatible with yours.

Go all in if you’re ready to date

To go back and forth between choices or opinions a little is perfectly okay if you both value your friendship and really don’t want to mess it up. It is really unhealthy to incessantly worry about the state of your friendship with every new step you take in your romantic development.

Some partners who have been through a series of breakups might want to negotiate how they will define their network of friends. But it won’t be nice of them to keep saying ‘Ok if we part ways, what’s going to happen? Especially when they’re now couples. Yes, you might be taking a huge gamble on your friendship by dating that person.

Where you know you can’t stop thinking about the potential future unrest, you should rethink moving along. But if you’re both truly interested, there is more to lose if you don’t try than if you do.

Find someone who agrees with you

However, it’s really not possible to find someone who agrees with you in virtually all matters. But if you know deep within you that you could never date a person who believes that all cats are a nuisance in the house, then you should probably figure out their opinions on cats being annoying before you get too emotionally involved in the long run. Although the chemistry might be great, it appears completely irrelevant when you and the person you’re dating dissent on important issues.

Read Also: 23 Signs He Loves You Truly Insanely And 10 Signs He Doesn’t

Avoid involving your friends too much in the early stage

It is unhealthy to talk to a friend of the person you’re having mutual feelings for to help you out with those feelings. It will be nice of you to talk to someone who isn’t a shared friend with the person you’re crushing on. Shared friends are always curious to know what’s happening between both of you, but a romantic relationship is healthiest between two people.

Some friends could be very funny staring at you and your friend expecting you both to just kiss straight away as this should be the last thing you need deep within you.

Do they have any criminal record?

To be on a safe side, it’s better you investigate to know if the person you’re trying to date doesn’t have any criminal record. You will definitely feel embarrassed when you discover the person you’re dating has been involved in several domestic violence or sexual assault. Why not run a check on your date if you care about your reputation having seen that more than 20 million people in the U.S. have been convicted of a felony?

Have in mind that expectations about things like lovemaking might appear awkward in the beginning

Know deep within you that people bring different sexual expectations to their relationships. So if you’re expecting magic the first time or you see your lovemaking relationship as something that can grow and change will determine how satisfied you are not just in lovemaking but in the relationship as a whole.

Furthermore, if you two are willing to diligently work on the lovemaking aspect, you guys could find it much easier into moving into a serious relationship.

What’s the person’s relationship with his or her family?

This is an essential thing to look out for before dating the person you’re crushing on. A person who doesn’t respect his or her loved ones and doesn’t interact with their family is a bad sign that he or she won’t respect your own family members.

Be wise and also know that someone who still brings his laundry over to their mom’s house weekly will expect you to treat him the same way his mother does.  The choice is yours to make.

Have in mind that the relationship will get more complicated

Not because you guys just gel straight up into desirable dating partners doesn’t mean the relationship won’t get complex along the line. Things may appear emotionally complex than your friendship ever was, and how you guys will handle such a situation will determine how mature you two are.

It also entails figuring out how to deal with jealousy, or meshing your day to day schedules together, or helping each other through bigger life challenges you never had an idea before. You can also avoid some common mistakes in a relationship so as not to ruin your relationship.

Do they treat people in the service industry well?

The first point of call by many is to meet in a restaurant or eateries for their first date so as to see how the guy will treat a waitress in the restaurant. You can easily tell from here if the guy is down to the earth only to you but doesn’t treat a waitress or a server with respect.

A man with that kind of lifestyle isn’t worth dating as he might one day nag at you in the public or in front of your close friends. You’re also advised against using the restaurant aspect in judging as you can also visit his residential abode to see how he treats his younger ones to be confident in your choice/decision.

Summary

Having known the things to expect before dating him or her, you also have to take things patiently so as not to make the wrong decision or choice. If you’re willing to change your entire lifestyle for someone you’re dating, good luck to you.

You can enjoy a long-lasting healthy relationship when you date someone who neither holds you back nor leaves you in the dark. Liked what you just read? Like our Facebook page, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter handler and we promise to always spice up your love life immensely.

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