Things to avoid in a relationship
Common mistakes in a relationship are the unknown and known things we often neglect in a relationship that may destroy your entire relationship in a blinking of an eye. You have successfully scaled through the dating stage and you’re now happy being in a relationship.
Being in a relationship could be sweet or bitter depending on how you want it to appear. A romantic relationship or mere friendship can never be perfect, no matter how hard you and your partner or your friend try as we all keep learning/growing in a relationship.
Furthermore, you may accuse your partner of having some bad habits, but you’re definitely no exception as no one is 100 percent perfect. You hear or see may couples who end up breaking up because they can’t admit their mistakes and continue fighting until one of the partners concede defeat/walk away. They are little mistakes we don’t take into consideration thinking it won’t count but end up ruining your ever booming relationship and you lost everything.
Others are lucky to have seen the warning signs and act immediately to avoid losing their relationship. Having been in a relationship for more than 5 years, I will outline the common mistakes I made in the relationship to help you avoid making the same mistake and enjoy a long-lasting healthy relationship.
Best proven common mistakes in a relationship
Would you have loved your enjoyable relationship to cut short just because of the little things you often overlooked? I have carefully outlined the common mistakes in a relationship most couples or partners never knew could mar their relationship.
Insufficient romance in the relationship
A relationship is a school on its own that we keep learning every day to know what makes your partner happy. Where romance is lacking in a relationship couples bond tend to reduce and lack of trust begins to set in. This is one of the common mistakes in a relationship as you need to take it diligently in discovering what type of romance your partner does enjoy and give it to him or her.
Read Also: The Importance Of Romance In A Relationship
Never walk away
Never confuse this with giving each other space as calming yourself down or clear your head during a heated argument with your partner works wonders. Try to talk to your partner in a good tune by asking if you could take a few minutes to cool your brain is a very good gesture to adhere to than cutting the conversation because you are done isn’t a good idea.
I do like walking away from my girlfriend whenever we have heated arguments so I won’t have to raise my hand on her since I vow never to touch my girl. But my girl becomes angrier when I walk out of her until I happen to tell her to tell me things she likes about me and things she doesn’t like so I can change. That was when she told me I love walking out of her as it turns her off and I apologized. Now the relationship is as sweet as honey thanks to my jewel for revealing to me where I was failing.
Why control your partner?
Would you like someone telling you what to do virtually all the time? Despite being in a relationship with this person, doesn’t mean you should toss your partner around like a kid instead of treating him or her as an adult.
Many partners have control problems or things they do that makes the other go insane. This lifestyle can make you want to control or comment on any move the other person makes which is really unhealthy. It is one of the common mistakes in a relationship most partners make, so be warned.
Try controlling your emotions
It is normal for one to feel emotional towards someone he or she loves but how well you control this emotion will greatly aid you in enjoying a long-lasting relationship. This is one of those common mistakes in a relationship that are known but not easy to adhere to. It takes time for one to learn how to control his or her emotions as not able to control it can crash your relationship suddenly.
A practical illustration of this point goes like this as I can recall one day when I and my girlfriend where on a date. We were eating before I realize it, an SMS came into my girlfriend’s phone as her phone was on the table and I noticed it was a message from her ex. I took a deep breath and wanted to yell at her, but I held myself back and continue enjoying our day out.
The next morning my phone rang as I reach for it, I discovered it was my girl who was calling and when I received the call; I was shocked to hear her tell me that her ex sent her a message that he missed her and we both laughed at it. By holding myself back that day, I had avoided a huge fight that would have escalated due to emotion and assumptions.
Don’t always expect complete perfection
Never expect your partner to be 100 percent perfect as mistakes are inevitable. Do not bother your partner with some unrealistic high expectation as it is one of those common mistakes in a relationship that ruin couple’s love life. Avoiding this lifestyle will make you enjoy your relationship immensely.
Always comparing your partner to an ex
It is in human nature to naturally want to compare things especially when we experience a situation that is similar to something from our past; we tend to draw conclusions based on that past experience. For example, let’s say your ex to take you out for shopping or hangs out with you each weekend but suddenly changes after seeing someone else. Recently, your new partner doesn’t hang out with you for more than a month now and you have quickly concluded that he’s seeing another girl just like your ex.
This way of thinking is wrong as you should control your brain against such actions. Always remember that every single individual/situation is unique and see if you won’t enjoy the relationship? Although this does not mean you can’t learn from your past or set standards for yourself, instead of living an open life and afford each person a new chance.
Furthermore, never ever tell your partner that your ex did this or that each time issues arises as no one would love to be compared to a person who once made you shed tears. For no reason should you compare your significant other to your ex as it hurts greatly?
You may want to shy away from having a fight with your partner paving way for you to hide all of the problems under the carpet. Not-knowing that this plan keeps accumulating the problem and eventually results in a heated argument, or a breakup which the other ponder as what went wrong. Never shy away from communication as it is one of those common mistakes in a relationship most partners tend to underestimate.
Avoid keeping score
Why want to remember your significant other’s bad deeds they must have done to you after they must have apologized to you? You harboring every little slight or sacrifice you’ve made in the past makes you feel exhausted and resentful. Never awaken old wounds after your partner must have apologized to you and learn to forgive and forget. I can assure you after forgiving your partner completely, you will make him or her extremely happy/tend to think right clearly.
Always fighting about everything
This is one of those common mistakes in a relationship where couples or partners often overlooked and may end up parting ways. Avoid making everything an argument and always think about the issues you have with your significant other if it will ruin the relationship or better still if you can build a bridge and get over them easily.
Holding back things
Try giving your partner things freely without expecting your significant other to return the kindness really keeps a relationship going. Women are generally scared of showing too much love to their partner as it might seem they are clingy or needy. You’re still good to go if you want to be wary at the start of a relationship. But once you both have truly defined the relationship, try giving as much as you can instead of holding back.
Also if you discover your partner shows you love in a minimal way never reciprocate it but instead explain to your significant other on how you need to feel loved. Avoiding one of these common mistakes in a relationship will make you both live happily forever.
Common mistakes in a relationship continued
Striving to change your significant other
Why want to try and change your partner when you know we all are unique individuals in relationships? At first, you loved that person for who they are but along the line you find them detesting and you try to devise means to change them into your own taste isn’t the best. Sleep and think over it what attracted you to this person in the first place.
It could be your girlfriend is a comic person, but recently her talks or jokes have started driving you insane or you wished you shouldn’t have had anything to do with her. You have to remember that she always makes you feel happy and you love her for being there for you.
Always threatening your partner with break up
This is one of those common mistakes in a relationship that leaves many people to regret ever taking such a decision. A mature relationship must always remain committed even though things aren’t going as expected. You threatening your significant other that you want to break up even if you said that out of anger and you never meant it will always make your partner feel unsafe in the relationship/unhappy.
Always try to control your emotions against saying such word to your partner as when everything is calm, you’ll be so happy you never utter such words in the first place.
Forgetting to appreciate your significant other
Shying away from appreciating your partner is one of those common mistakes in a relationship that ruins many relationships today. We tend to give excuses for being stressed out as the reason why you forget appreciating your significant other. Always tell your partner, “you love him or her” or “thank you” after enjoying her delicious delicacies and lots more. All these good gestures will make your relationship enjoyable and be able to stand the test of times.
Having the feelings your partner will change
To be honest with you, there is no amount of words or what you’ll do that will make your partner to change. The word change shouldn’t be conflicted with the word compromise. The word change involves an individual asking the other to be someone he or she isn’t, which is totally insane! You can’t change that person for who he or she is.
This does not mean you should love every little annoying part of that person, but you must accept the fact that the person you’re with now is who you’ll be with every day of your life, their flaws and all.
My girlfriend speaks her mind, and I believe her. We’ve both accepted this difference and have grown to see it as a blessing: She being straightforward is a result of her genuine and candid nature as I will never want to change that part of her. I believing mean she can count on me to have the same feelings as hers and give her all the necessary support no matter what.
If you can’t put up with your partner’s flaw like you prefer lovemaking at night and he doesn’t, no amount of arguing, talking or time will have them change that.
Consequently, if your significant other’s flaw is something you can put up with; focus on how this difference might actually be a blessing to the relationship.
Concealing secrets from your partner
This is one of those common mistakes in a relationship most couples are found wanting. Why want to keep secrets from the one you love? It is really unhealthy but this doesn’t mean you have to tell your partner every little thing about your life. You should avoid keeping something vital from your partner intentionally as it ruins relationship to the core.
Having known is a secret to be shared with your partner but deep within you, you’re feeling unrest. It is better to air it out before your partner finds out which will really cause a major setback in the relationship.
Avoid suspecting your partner
It is normal to ask about your partner’s where about but respect their privacy as well. A relationship built on trust won’t have you panicking if your partner is in a safe place or is going to cheat on you. Avoid calling your partner for calling sake or you don’t just have what to do at the moment as it really sucks.
To be candid with you, suspecting and spying on your partner’s phone or private life won’t help you enjoy a long-lasting healthy relationship so do away with such mentality.
Try taking time for yourself
Why want to spend every little moment with your partner as your significant other will get tired of you and you’ll lose who you are to him or her. For example, you want to change your wardrobe as a lady and you find yourself consulting your partner for every small decision you make isn’t nice. Take some time to enjoy your hobbies, interests, and friends. You will discover the relationship will be booming immensely.
Avoid lying to your partner
It is one of those common mistakes in a relationship that makes couples break up very easily. Those little lies you think can’t hurt a fly might cause disastrous havoc you never expected. Being honest to your partner at all time breeds a healthy relationship that can stand the test of times. If you’re caught in the process of lying, quickly apologize and avoid giving excuses for lying.
Taking differences in core values at ease
You guys may like the same sport, music, and enjoy having a great time together. But you’ll still experience a hard time getting past major differences. Try dedicating some time to discuss core values like morality, religion, and the importance of things such as friends, family, money, and careers so as to avoid disappointment later in the near future while being in the relationship. These common mistakes in a relationship like taking differences in core values for granted are often not taken into consideration by most partners.
Avoid taking your partner for granted
Taking the one you love for granted will never make the relationship grow/enjoyable. Show your significant other how much you love and appreciate him or her on each occasion. Treat your girlfriend or wife as she is the only person on earth you can’t live without and hold her in high esteem. Most couples are failing in this aspect as they assume their partner already knows they love them and are not ready to show their partner the love in all aspect.
Shying away from discussing money
I know one of the areas that always bring problem in a relationship is lack of money as most couple fight and quarrel over this issue. If a person grew up wanting for nothing and the other is always vying for money to be spent, will bring some misunderstanding between couples or partners. Irrespective of whether you have your own separate money or not always discuss these things in your relationship as money-related issues are inevitable in a relationship. Shying away from discussing money won’t help as money also lubricates love aside from romantic love and lovemaking.
Taking a relationship as a game
Have it mind that relationship isn’t a game that you shouldn’t be craving for who wins or loses in the relationship. Try to get rid of rage and help the one you love to win the fight as your weakness will be very difficult to spot. Taking your significant other as your opponent while you are fighting always brings about severe problems in the relationship.
Furthermore, every relationship needs regular close attention and nurturing by so doing you will enjoy a long-lasting healthy relationship. Love your significant other the same way you love yourself and be grateful for the kind of partner you have.
Now you’ve been shown these common mistakes in a relationship, try your possible best to turn a new leaf and make your relationship enjoyable to the core. Help share this enriching article to help save many bleak relationships today.