An amicable divorce simply means that the two spouses are both in agreement regarding all the financial and property terms for their settlement. The whole divorce process has gone smoothly and peacefully. A resolution is reached between the spouses, and the two can go their separate ways without any conflict.
Different states have various governing laws concerning divorce. In Florida, for example, the statutes that contain the dissolution of marriage, child custody, and visitation are indicated in Chapter 61 of their Civil Practice and Procedure. A lot of states may differ in a lot of laws, like the length of time that a party lived in the state, child custody, and property distribution. But if you can make your divorce amicable, you will not have to worry about a thing.
Best proven strategies to achieving an amicable divorce
Here are strategies that you can employ to ensure that you and your spouse will have an amicable divorce:
You Should Both Consider Your Kids.
The best way to ensure an amicable divorce is by thinking about your kids. A study published in the US National Library of Medicine stated that divorce in families greatly affects the future competence of the children, which may include education, relationships, and emotional well-being.
You may not be husband and wife anymore. But you will always be parents to your kids. It is only right to do the best you can to reduce the impact of the divorce on your kids. The longer the divorce process, the larger the effect on your children. Divide your assets appropriately, talk about child custody and visitation, and settle on an amicable divorce.
Brush up on Your State Laws.
It is recommended to start reading about the laws concerning your divorce with your husband or wife. Laws differ from one state to another, so you have to research the policies that affect the process of your divorce.
Various states also have different provisions regarding non-marital and marital ownership of assets and properties. Non-marital ownership includes the properties that you each individually owned before your marriage. Marital ownership refers to properties that you owned after marriage.
Another term that you need to understand is commingled property. This type of property is an asset that you bought during marriage with the money that you got from selling non-marital assets.
The more you understand the laws of the state you are living in, the higher the probability that you will have amicable results. Why is that? By knowing your rights and your limits, you can better negotiate the terms. You will also less likely to be angry because you can place all your proposals on the table and see how it goes.
Do not Talk Ill of Your Spouse.
The emotions are already high when one or both of you wanted to file for divorce. One of you may hate the other for asking for a divorce. Others may have been blindsided by their spouses. Since the divorce is pretty much imminent, you must be careful in describing your spouse to other people.
This is to prevent further arguments from occurring. You do not want to hurt each other more by saying bad things about each other. Let the divorce settle your issues. If you cannot say nice things to your spouse despite what happened, then the better route is not to say anything at all.
Decide on Reasonable Settlements.
Divorces can only be amicable if you give reasonable terms that your spouse can agree on. If you demand more than what you reasonably and logically deserve to have, you are only asking for a long divorce procedure. By using actual facts and laws to back up your terms for spousal support, the division of property, and even custody and visitation rights, you can rationally defend these divorce conditions.
You may want to ask experts about the asset distribution as well as the child welfare laws so that you can be more prepared when you present your terms to your spouse.
This advice is for those who are not ready to get a divorce yet, but their spouses already are. It may seem difficult to take in at first. But if you have done everything that you can to attempt to restore the marriage and still failed, you have no other choice but to sign the papers.
The emotions are still there. You still love your spouse. You might feel a little anger. And you are probably distressed by what your marriage has become. But the only good thing that you can do now – not just for the two of you, but also for your kids – is to agree to the divorce.
Get good representation to help you with the process. Ask for recommendations on what to do with regard to property allotment. Get ideas on how to retain child custody or how to provide spousal and child support.
Tried and tested strategies to achieving an amicable divorce
If it is not worth it, do not do it.
It is easier said than done. But you have to make an effort to assess everything that you have and prioritize the properties that you need to be included in your divorce terms. If it seems reasonable, then go ahead and add it. But if it is not worth the time and the resources that you will spend just to get it, then it probably is not worth it at all.
Be Flexible with Your Agreement Conditions.
Even after you have accomplished and written all that you want to be called yours after the divorce papers are signed, you must, at least, give a little wiggle room to adjust them based on the demands of your spouse.
Think of it as a business transaction where you retain assets upon signing. But you should also go into the agreement consciously knowing that you will not win everything. Be ready to agree to some of the requirements and proposals from your spouse so that you can have an amicable divorce.
Do not Let Bills Pileup.
Some spouses get into an ugly divorce process when they find out that bills, loans, and other mortgages were not being paid just to get revenge over the spouse. But you should remember that you are also hurting yourself and your kids in the process.
Protect all your assets and pay all your bills. Do not burn them or destroy some assets that you know your spouse loves just to get back at them. And do not forget about dues and payments.
By doing all of these, you can avoid a longer, more costly, and more stressful divorce.
If you have representation, advise them to push for a settlement.
Lawyers and divorce attorneys will only follow what their client demands. In order to have an amicable divorce, you should encourage your lawyer to devise the fastest and most reasonable technique to complete the divorce and not get the short end of the bargain.
You are not only ending the marriage on a high note but also reducing the expenses that you spend on your representation. You can then allocate that money to things that matter like a new apartment, education for the kids, and others.
Talk to a Therapist During the Divorce.
When you are undergoing a lot of stress and in a rollercoaster of emotions because of the divorce, the best thing that you can do is talk to someone. But not all pieces of advice from people are good. You can avoid confrontations and ugly divorces by talking to a therapist who is an expert on these matters.
Open up about what you currently feel. Tell them about your anxieties and possible concerns. Do not hold anything up. By sharing your emotions and your plans with an expert, you can get sound advice and guidance to the best way to deal with your problem. They will also recommend techniques and strategies so that you can focus on rebuilding your life and moving on.
Your marriage may not have happened the way you planned it but you can still decide how to end it. An amicable divorce is the best way to start over with your lives. This is particularly important if you have kids to support and take care of. You do not want to ruin what’s left of your relationship with your spouse. And you would not want to negatively affect the future of your children.
Follow these strategies on your way to an amicable divorce. Would you agree with the points expressed by our guest blogger Mr. Mike Zhang? Do you have anything to add? Finally, all views are that of our guest blogger Mr. Mike Zhang, the owner of family life share.