Age Difference In A Relationship: Does It Really Matter?

age difference in a relationship

Age-gap in relationship and marriage

Age difference in a relationship is simply taking into consideration the ages of both partners in a relationship. In relationships/marriages, many people dispute if age should really be taken into consideration. Why want to stop loving your heart desire just because he or she is 10, 20, or 30 years older than you? Should it matter that you are both 20 and feel ripe to tie the knot together?

What about when the relationship or marriage does not work out; is there an acceptable “age” for divorce? Although this may be personal issues to which there’s no wrong or right answer but one can still garner some wisdom from studies and other people’s experiences.

What about when the relationship or marriage does not work out; is there an acceptable “age” for divorce? Although this may be personal issues to which there’s no wrong or right answer but one can still garner some wisdom from studies and other people’s experiences.

Read Also: Scientists Explain The Best Age Difference To Make A Relationship Last

Society myths about age difference in a relationship

The society at large holds a negative impression regarding age differences in a relationship which makes people be obsessive with it. And, that is why individuals start developing feelings for people outside their age brackets as individuals think their feelings are wrong. If you both are on the same level of maturity, never allow the attached age number impede your decision. Just like spouses who are the same age, if you are not on the same page, things will certainly appear difficult.

Also, society expects all individuals to age and develop at the same rate not just judging dating outside our ages. It is often said that “with age comes maturity”, which is a mere myth. We experience maturity after several experiences we came across in life as you don’t just automatically become mature on your 25th birthday. Maturity can occur at a very young age, or maybe, you never actually mature.

Furthermore, society makes us feel that we have lived and are continuing to live incorrectly if we haven’t discovered ourselves by our mid-twenties. We all have several plans to achieve a certain thing by a certain age, but the reverse might be the case as we tend not to achieve those goals at that particular time.

Most people do say, “Act your age.” As we all are expected to leave behind our childish behaviors at our grade 12 classes and be grown up “adults.” That is not the case for everyone, though, because we all are different human beings with our natural paths.     

 Age difference in a relationship among couples

A study by the New York Post deduced that the bigger the age difference, the shorter the marriage. Its dispute here is that couples from different generations have several values and cultural reference points, opposite choices in music/film, very different approaches to their sex life, and very different sets of pals. The article concluded that spouses with a 20-year age difference are 95% more likely to divorce than a spouse with only a one-year age gap.

Read Also: Common Mistakes In A Relationship: 22 Best Proven Tips

age difference in a relationship

Does the age difference in marriage bring about divorce?

According to the Institute for Family Studies Blog, they dispute that the longer you wait to tie the knot, the better; but not too long. The blog deduced that young couples under the age of 25 stand a higher chance of experiencing divorce than couples who married in their late twenties.

Also, data shows that there’s also a higher statistical risk of experiencing divorce among couples who waited until their mid-thirties to tie the knot. Notwithstanding these conclusions, successful marriages are basically built on a strong foundation of maturity, social support, and understanding skills.   

Does the age difference in a relationship affect older couples?

Marriages can breakdown at any age but gray divorce has become rampant in recent years. Love does not matter if someone is older or younger, but we take into consideration the ages of partners. Furthermore, a study deduced that the level of divorce among people over the age of 50 has more than doubled since 1990.

Irrespective of whether older individuals got married at the “right age” or not, people are beginning to see divorce as not unhealthy, but as a way to take charge of their own happiness and rewrite their futures. Susan L. Brown, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University who wrote a book on gray divorce deduced that “it is not as if marital quality has suddenly reduced but assumed that the hunger for higher expectations now constitutes a successful marriage.”

Why doesn’t age difference in a relationship matter to some?

Many of the reasons proposed for age difference among couples have been largely rooted in evolutionary explanations, and focus on discussing older man to a younger woman pairing. It was deduced that men’s choices for younger women and women’s choices for older men depend on reproductive fitness.

This is to say, the extent to which an individual has “good genes”; indicated by their attractiveness and level of vitality (being active), and the extent to which they’re a “good investment”; indicated by their status and resources accompanied with their warmth/sense of trust.

Furthermore, men and women place a priority on a partner who is warm and trustworthy, women place more priority on the resources and status of their male partner. This is important because women are child bearers and require a high investment in taking good care of their kids. This makes them look for a partner who will also invest enough resources (money) into the relationship and family.

Since the accumulation of resources takes time, we tend to acquire resources later in life and by this time of acquiring these wealth/resources to confidently provide for others, we have rapidly advanced in age. So, women’s love for status/resources might explain why some women may prefer older men to younger men.

In contrast, there’s proof to show why men value attractiveness and vitality more than women because, from an evolutionary point of view, youth stage is seen as a stage of being fertile. Since a man can’t bear kids, evolution suggests he turns his attention to younger women to boost the chances of partnering with someone who can provide kids.

Finally, the evolutionary explanation is limited in giving details why there is an older woman to a younger man pairing, or why age differences exist within same-sex spouses. With this, socio-cultural explanations might provide a better understanding of the situation.

Since most women are now working in high positions and being paid a huge salary, they no longer depend on men for resources. So only a few women will place resources higher amongst other things when looking for a potential soul mate.

Read Also: 16 Best Tips To Having A Long-Lasting Healthy Relationship

Is the age difference in a relationship vital?

For a relationship to be successful, it is dependent on the extent to which partners share similar beliefs, goals, and values about their relationship; support each other in achieving personal dreams; build strong relationship commitment, trust, and intimacy; and resolve issues amicably.

The above factors have little to do with age. So, to be candid with you, while the age difference in a relationship may bring about some challenges for couples, so long as partners work at their relationship, age shouldn’t be a stumbling block.   

Despite all the studies, speculation, data, and opinions about how age affects marital affairs, candidly there is no rule governing the “optimal” age to tie the knot or divorced. Since each couple is different that’s how their marriage differs too. So, if you’re thinking about a divorce, it is vital to remember this fact and to make decisions that work best for you/your current situation.


Now that you’ve known that age difference in a relationship doesn’t count, allow love to work its mysterious way if you find yourself having a special affection for someone who is older or younger than you. Enjoy it and let it grow remarkably. Your comments are highly needed if you find this article interesting/useful and kindly follow our facebook page, twitter handler, Instagram, and Pinterest.

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