What Is Cheating?
Men cheat in a relationship on their beautiful wives or girlfriends pointing accusing fingers on some flimsy excuses and they do this in a very constructive and amazing way. Cheating is the act of having a romantic affair or sexual relationship with someone who is not your ideal partner. Another word for cheating is referred to as infidelity. Most at times, you hear men who cheat say since they don’t engage in any sexual activities with the ladies they go out with that it is not regarded as cheating. Although, women also cheat that can’t be compared to the rate at which men cheat in a relationship. Also, most men put blames on their colleagues at the workplace, their spouse, and the lady they even go out with.
moreover, as a relationship expert, I have coined out the various reasons on why men who cheat tend to be very bold in their infidelity lifestyle. These men see cheating as their only possible solution to their ailing relationship issues or other problems they might encounter. I do ask most men who cheat, yes you might engage in cheating to air your pains, but don’t you think they are better options to indulge in like talking to your counselor or relationship experts to help provide solutions to your ailing relationship issues? This will definitely go along way so as not to incur emotional pains and grief to your pretty wife you always love?
Consequently, it is so unfortunate that these men don’t reason in that aspect when rebuked on why they shouldn’t cheat outside their marriage or in their relationship; instead they opt to provide a very convincing reason for their actions with words like:
It is in the nature of men to cheat, so it is inevitable.
If my wife or girlfriend gives me enough sex, I will not bother cheating on her.
I am not having sex, it’s just flirting and sexting so there’s nothing in it.
Do you want to tell me that merely having a lap dance in a strip club is now a crime? If so the ladies there would have been arrested by the police and the place wouldn’t have been in existence. It is just for fun and nothing more.
My wife is overweight and she looks like my granny despite hitting the gym always. Tell me would you enjoy having sex with such a woman?
No guy wouldn’t love to have sex with another lady, at least to enjoy her sweet taste especially when you have the slightest opportunity.
This cheating am doing isn’t strange, my friends indulge in it as well. I can give you their number to call and confirm from them if you don’t mind.
My job is damn stressful and you know this online sex chat relieves and makes me whole again.
From a psychologist point of view, these answers been provided by these cheating men are referred to as denial. Denial entails streams of lies from deep within which deceits people say to themselves to enable their questionable behaviors to soothe their own mind. Judging from the view of a psychologist who doesn’t call a spade a hoe knows that cheating men denials looks like a ship sailing without a captain but yet these men will be very offensive in their reply that what they are doing is definitely right.
Why Men Cheat In A Relationship
This will now take us to the question; why do men actually cheat? And why do they continue in the cheating even after being caught red-handed? It is obvious many circumstances and factors may lead to why men cheat in a relationship. The following are the major reasons why men cheat in a relation:
Feelings of insecurity
Most men tend to think they are too young or too old, not smart and handsome enough and these make them have these feelings of insecurity. They will definitely go after young ladies to make them enjoy the euphoria of sex, feel energized and young as when they were in their early twenties.
Also, a large number of these men who cheat; point to the mid-life crisis as the main cause of their cheating.
A man here is usually a novice in a committed relationship and as such might want to be sneaking out, coming back late at night, and even hide text messages from his beloved wife or girlfriend. All these are signs that he is still battling with second adolescents which is one of the reasons why men cheat in a relationship.
To avenge or felt angry
Most men cheat to avenge what their wives did to hurt their feelings. He will openly cheat for his wife to see so she can also feel the pains he once felt. Others became angry with their partner and end up cheating to hurt her severely. Try as much as possible to settle your differences so as not to make your man cheat on you.
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A breakdown in communication between partners makes the other want to cheat because he is no longer interested in knowing how she is faring on a daily basis or her emotional needs.
A licensed sex and relationship therapist, Dr. Megan Fleming says” Typically, if someone’s cheating, it’s because needs aren’t being met in a marriage or relationship”.
A man who is struggling with drugs or alcohol problems may find it difficult in making precise decisions after he must have had sex already with the lady and he regrets the act at the later stage. He might tell you since he is a sex addict that is why he can never stop having an affair outside with another lady that you should understand with him. All these co-occurring problems make men cheat in a relationship which is really not nice.
You see most of these men cheat without looking at the emotional harm it might cause to their wives, kids or girlfriends. He does not regret indulging in cheating and he is just after himself alone which is extremely bad. These men who are selfish don’t care about the vows they made on the altar and they assume it’s a normal thing for them to cheat.
A problem of male social support
A man might place himself too low a value for supportive friendships with his other friends, awaiting his emotional and social needs to be met solely by his important others. And in a situation where the wife fails in this aspect, he seeks greener pastures elsewhere.
When a man reflects on the sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and physical abuse he once encountered during his childhood days, he will see it as a waste of time in committing himself to his girlfriend or wife. He uses the medium of cheating to feel better and comfort himself from the trauma. Childhood abuse is one of the reasons why men cheat in a relationship/ marriage.
Having abstract expectations
Men cheat solely because she is unable to satisfy his sexual desire daily, regardless if she is in the mood or not. He fails to infer that she is not meant to be a sex slave and she has other pressing things to attend to better her life than having sex 24/7 hours to satisfy his own sexual urge.
This is one of the critical aspects on why most men cheat. He tells you his dad has more than one wives and that attributed his father to be an ideal man. Yes, he might be speaking the truth and think carefully whether to consent to it or not. Nelson says that some men explore the possibility of opening up their relationship usually after their illicit affairs. A man with a polygamous lineage will never be conducive in a monogamous relationship.
Being frustrated or tired of the relationship
This scenario is common in as why men cheat in a relationship. He might be severely unhappy in the relationship and might want to cheat so the lady can let go him completely. Others might actually break up their current relationship as soon as he finds the replacement for the former. So he paves the way to ignite with the new lady he found by cheating in the relationship.
Although most men who cheat through this medium never planned of even cheating on their wives but end up falling because an opportunity accidentally surfaces and they yielded. They might not even think about the adverse effect of the infidelity after the act has been committed and they feel guilty.
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Being perplexed about commitment and limerence
A man might mistake limerence to a commitment not knowing that limerence could be replaced as time goes by with less intense but ultimately forms of bonding.
Proven Solutions To Cheating Partners
Try knowing why most men cheat helps avert the future occurrence of cheating.
Accept that you have cheated and apologize to your wife for the relationship to boom as it was before.
Try giving the affected partner you hurt time to get over the emotional harm.
Never allow your differences with your partner escalate and try resolving your differences amicably.
You can consult a relationship psychologist or go for couple’s therapy for advice/solution.
Ending any affair you previously had and turn a new leaf.
Try as much as possible to be open minded /honest to your partner and avoid doing things that might push him into cheating.
Always limit the times you talk about cheating so as not to awaken old wounds.
In a severe case, in which both partners refuse to settle their differences, a due process should be followed towards filing for a divorce.
If he is a type that loves sex extremely, try to see how you two can iron it out or better still visit your relationship therapists for the way out.
We have seen the various reasons why most men cheat in a relationship and proven solutions to any cheating partners. Relationships do entail several variations and complications and it is not easy for two people from different background to live peacefully under specific rules. Also, when a man is sincerely committed to his spouse, no form of cheating will occur. In the most relationship, there is no single factor that stirs men into cheating. And with time, the reason why most men cheat changes together with the circumstance surrounding their lives.
Finally, avoid chatting with your exes, avoid being overprotective, always create enough time for intimacy, never hide secrets from your intimate partners, respect each other privacy, and never take each other for granted and the relationship will be void of cheating.